Jealousy

In women's group we are reading "Unglued" by Lysa Teukeurst, we are on chapter 9 which is labeled "The empty woman". It's a chapter on jealousy and it really spoke to me. I've had some jealousy issues toward other women that have babies! I'm jealous and upset with some woman that can have kids but take them for granted. They just use them to get more government assistance or have them so their boyfriend/husband won't leave them....and so on. 

Who am I to judge though? These kids could turn out to be our next president, you never know!

 Anyways, in this chapter Lysa talks about how she was jealous of her friend who got a book deal. She was upset that no one gave her one. But she goes on to see that it wasn't her time for a book deal. She still had small kids at home and she wouldn't have been able to handle it all. She says,"the first step in dealing with jealous thoughts is to focus on our own responsibilities and actions." 

Galatians 6:4-5 says, each one should test their own actions. Then  they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each  one should carry their own load.

As I read this, I thought God knows what He's doing. I shouldn't be wishing for someone else's   responsibilities because I probably couldn't handle it. Me wasting my time wishing i had what "she"  had is taking away time I could be spending with my kids or working on what God needs me to do.

I shouldn't waste my time being jealous. There are so many women out there that can't conceive babies, they can't bring a child to full term. I should be praising God for my two healthy kids. I should be thanking God that I know I can carry a baby to full term. I should be happy that I know that I can conceive a child. 

Instead of being jealous and comparing my life to others lives, I should be using my situation to touch someone else. To show love to someone who is going through exactly what I have gone through!

Galatians 6:9-10, Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Just because we lost our sweet angel doesn't mean I can't have kids or that something is wrong with me, it just wasn't our time for another baby. We will never know the real reason God took our baby so early but my heart is happy knowing that he is watching over us waiting to meet us one day!

Thank you God for my amazing family. Thank you for blessing me with two healthy kids and a husband that does everything he can to take care of us. I don't deserve all You have given me. 

(None of this may make sense. Haha. I have all these thoughts in my brain that I want to write about but don't know how. Lol it doesn't come out right. So sorry if this sounds all confusing)