33 weeks

Wow.... I can't believe that I would be 33 weeks right now if I wouldn't have lost our sweet baby!!! It's hard to believe that I would be getting all the babies blankets and clothes and socks and new born diapers all organize for his arrival in 7 weeks!! I am very thankful that God gave me the privilege to carry him for 16 weeks even if I didn't get to keep him here for myself!! I have to keep telling myself that all things happen for a reason!  The closer we get to the due date the more emotional I get about everything! I'm glad the holidays are coming up so maybe it will keep my mind busy!! Lots of family to enjoy! Can't wait to see everybody and hopefully meet one of my sweet second cousins!! So excited to cuddle and hug on her!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving!! Can't wait for my Meems pumpkin pies!!! Yummy!!!!

Not a baby Anymore

(2012 birthday)

(2013 birthday)

My baby boy turned the Big 2 this last Friday and WOW I never thought that I would be this emotional about it!!! I laid in bed Friday night and held him and just cried. Shane asked me why I was crying and I had no answer... I had no idea and still don't know why I have been so emotional about his birthday!!
When I first found out I was pregnant with Tanner I was shocked ( because it happened so fast) and excited!! I prayed and prayed for another little girl. I had no clue how to take care of a boy or want to (at the time)!! When I found out he was a boy I was not happy. I acted like I was but I was so sad and angry. I don't think I was ever completely happy about having a little boy until I held him for the first time!!! That sweet little boy stole my heart!! Everyone told me that a mothers love for a little boy was different than the love you have for your little girl, and it's true!! Not sure why or how it's different but it is! He's mommas boy (when daddy isn't around lol)!! He brings so much joy to my heart by the little smiles he gives me and the awesome hugs he gives!! I think any mother of a boy can agree with me!! They may be rough and dirty but they are Oh so sweet!!!

(11-1-11)

Momma loves you sweet boy and don't ever forget that!! I don't even want to think about ever sharing my baby with another women one day!!! I will always be there to hold you, doctor your cuts, and be a shoulder to lean on when that girl breaks your heart. I will do my best to teach you to love God and His word! I will do my best to teach you how to treat other people with love and respect! I will do my best to teach you how to treat a women and how to love one!!