Christmas picture 2012

Monday, January 13, 2014

Friday, January 17,2014... My due date

This coming up Friday would have been my due date.....WOW....... Has it been 5 months already...... It sure hasn't been an easy road and I still struggled. I have my good days and my bad days. I have had more good days lately than bad days. Me and shane were talking one night about how I was feeling and he told me that it was up to me how I felt. I controlled my feelings. He said that I had to decide when I wanted to be happy. I told him it wasn't that easy but then New Years rolled around and everyone was making resolutions so I figured I'd make some. Of course lose weight,eat healthy, ect.... But I also decided I WAS going to be happy, I was going to treat myself better. I told myself I was the only one that could make me happy no one else could make me happy, ON,Y ME!!! And I have been happy. I have been working out some. Eating better. And enjoying life. I have a group of friends that I love very much and they always make me smile and laugh. I have family that I love more than anything.

I still have things that our going to be tough this year though. Like Friday. I know it's coming and I keep telling myself it's going to be okay but I won't know how okay it will be until it's Friday. So please pray for me!! And then in August it will be a year that this nightmare happened. I still stay up at night running that awful Monday through my head and the days after that. I still to this day wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I still have a hard time talking about it with people other than shane. He is the only one that knows the sad and depressed me! So pray for him!! 

1 comment:

  1. My thoughts and prayers are with you honey. Time will ease the pain. When you are feeling sad take a look at what you have already. A loving husband and wonderful children to love and give love in return. So many people in this world only dream of having what you do. Count your blessings every day. We sometimes want things we don't have instead of looking at what the Lord has already given us. Be strong not only for yourself but for your family. Depression not only effects you, but them also. On Friday, look at what you have and not what you don't have and say a prayer asking for strength to overcome this sadness and KEEP BUSY. Plan a full day. It will be over before you know it.